After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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