theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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