Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
