drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
