I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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