good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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