Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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