She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
