the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
