My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
