Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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