haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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