About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
