ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
