he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
