I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
