How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
