Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
