marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
