Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
