soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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