Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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