hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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