YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My butt remains clenched, sir.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
