Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.

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(706): View more from Georgia

having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..

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(334): View more from Alabama

He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you

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(914): View more from New York

2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.

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(276): View more from Virginia

He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.

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(360): View more from Washington

Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.

(708): View more from Illinois

I was not expecting that analogy.

(360): View more from Washington

No one ever expects that analogy.

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