a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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