So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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