My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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