none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
