I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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