Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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