I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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