his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
