I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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