But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
