Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
