Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize