What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
