I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize