and you said cock pushups were impossible
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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