Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
