In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
