Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
