Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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