So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
