Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I currently don't understand fingers.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
