i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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