he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
