I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
