Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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