I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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