dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
