Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Randomize
