glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
