That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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