do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
