i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize