im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
