Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
