Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
