He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
