Porn is love you can see.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
