Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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