summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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