There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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